Don’t Allow Yourself to be Bullied
Sitting in an IEP meeting for the first time can be very intimidating. You are surrounded by people who are all telling you things about your child’s abilities and challenges, and it is very easy for them to lose sight of the fact that they are talking about a person rather than just another case on their caseload. In the day and age of overfilled classrooms and services that are stretched too thin, the sheer volume of IEP meetings can be overwhelming for teachers, therapists, administrators, and support staff. It is important to be compassionate and understanding without being adversarial, but it is even more important to ensure your child gets the support and services to which he or she is entitled.
Having said that, it is also important to note that the school and the district are in a business. They have budgets, balance sheets, and a hierarchy to whom they must answer. One of the key areas that cutbacks occur is in related services staff. If you feel that your child requires one on one support in speech, social work, occupational or physical therapy make sure you have a strong argument. Many schools and districts are resorting to providing services in group settings rather than one on one. If your child does not do well with this type of arrangement make sure you say so.
Having said that, it is also important to note that the school and the district are in a business. They have budgets, balance sheets, and a hierarchy to whom they must answer. One of the key areas that cutbacks occur is in related services staff. If you feel that your child requires one on one support in speech, social work, occupational or physical therapy make sure you have a strong argument. Many schools and districts are resorting to providing services in group settings rather than one on one. If your child does not do well with this type of arrangement make sure you say so.
The ABC's of Parent Empowerment for IEP Meetings
Beth Fouse, Associate Professor in the Department of Special Services, published a book called "Creating a Win-Win IEP for students with Autism" which offers some great recommendations for having a successful IEP meeting. Among the contents is a draft called the ABC's of Parent Empowerment for IEP Meetings. Although this was written for parents of students with Autism, the contents are applicable to all parents currently involved in the IEP process. I have left the text intact, but added the word disabilities in parenthesis wherever Autism is specifically mentioned.
- Advocate for yourself and your child
- Bring your own "stack of stuff"
- Control your anger; anger begets anger
- Develop lon-range plans for your child
- Educate yourself about autism (or disability) and your legal rights
- Find supports for you and your child
- Get involved in your child's educational program
- Help other parents to cope with the stresses of autism (disability)
- Initiate IEP meetings or discussions when you have concerns
- Jump into the discussion; don't be intimidated by professionals
- Know what you want for your child - work toward those goals
- Leave old luggage behind - what happened before should not impact the future
- Make lists of concerns, issues, and questions and take the lists with you
- Negotiate - don't form battle lines
- Open up and listen to other perspectives
- Plan longitudinally for your child
- Question what you do not understand; do not be afraid to
- Recognize the realities of the situation
- Summarize and restate major decisions of the IEP team
- Treat all parties with respect
- Understand that you have a right to express yourself
- Visualize your dreams for your child and work toward those dreams
- Welcome opportunities for interactions with the school
- eXpect the best
- You are the key to a good program
- Zeal can be an asset. Be zealous in your pursuit of a good program